We Need to Ask You a Few Questions.......

OK, quickie here. Raced the first stage of the Tour of St. Louis last Saturday, the infamous Carondelet Park Criterium. 90+ guys on the line in the cat III race, 60 minutes plus 5 laps. Raced REALLY well. Stayed in the front the entire time, moved around, burned some matches, but not too bad. Come the final sprint, if you could call it that, it is still lost, no where to be found. My top end power has not made it yet. That's OK, for now. I am working on it. My left leg is still partially "dead" as you can see from my most recent photo, so I have to re-train it to sprint differently I guess. Did a nice 3 hour ride in the cold on Sunday with The Badger, and harassed him the whole time about him "badgering up" on his bet that he made. I think he believes he is going to weasel out of the deal, but I have different plans.

BIG NEWS: Stage 3 of Tour of St. Louis on Sunday. Forrest Park Criterium, Masters 40+ Crit. Our faithful Team Director, confidant & friend, Uncle Gary was questioned by the police, detained and almost arrested for assault & battery.

You see, he ripped a whole bunch of guy's legs off! Right there, DURING the race! This was frowned upon by the local STLPD I guess. After some brief answers to their questions, and assessment of the collateral damage, he was released with a big fat check for 1st place, a gold medal and I believe a bouquet of flowers. Congratulations Uncle Gary!

Lost: Sprint, Big Reward

Last Sunday, I decided to race again. I need to get back into race shape, and the only way I have found to do this, besides the grueling Tuesday night ride with the Proctor racing Crew, is to actually race. My "Little Brother" Ike & I headed up to the Cheddar Curtain, the heart of liberal Midwest, Madison Wisconsin. The club up there puts on a series of races throughout the year, which are very well organized & heavily attended. I registered for the Masters 3/4 and the Masters 1/2/3 race.

I guess I forgot how fast these things were, but held my own. Did a lot of attacking in the 3/4 race, was in 3 breaks that went nowhere, as it seems you need to chase your own teammates down, especially when you have like 10 guys in the race (not my team, as I had no teammates)

40 minutes later came the final lap. I knew I had to be in 3rd or 4th position through the 30 mph. final turn to take victory, as it was a 300 meter, UPHILL finish. I needed to suck some wheels going to the line, the blast by them for the "V". I was in perfect position, 4th through the turn, out fo the saddle, and then it happened. I lost my sprint. I mean, I have NO sprint, none, not a shred. I lost 8 places, and took 12th. Back in the day, I could have come from 20th place, and out kicked all of them, but no more. 3+ years on & off the bike will do that to you I guess. I need to be working on that on the Tuesday night rides, and get it back this season. I figure I cant climb a hill, cant time trial, and now if I cant sprint? I am looking for it, but for this weekend it was lost.

Here's the Super Ikester. He was a great traveling companion and supporter. He hung out, watched some movies, organized my vehicle for the trip home, and we had a blast. If you ever need your phone or other electronic device figured out, call a 12 year old, they know way more than us "old guys" do!

Second race, the 1/2/3 field was stacked. 80+ guys, and my goal was to finish, which I did. It was an hour + of pain, as I had spent some bullets from the first race. My buddy & teammate Robert joined in, as he needed some miles as well. The race was fast, a break of 8 went off the front and stayed there. People tried some moves, which went no where, and the field sprinted at the end. I was in about 15th through the final turn, and wound up 36th overall I believe. Once again, the sprint disappeared, Nada, no where to be found. Oh well, I am trying at least.

Here's Robert, Danny & myself after the racing. Tired, hungry and packing up for the 3:15 drive home. 60 miles for the day, and 48 miles worth of crit racing. Not too bad for April. If anyone comes across my sprint, please let me know. I have a HUGE reward for you!

Be Here Two Shows a Night All Weekend!

New & improved posting coming soon! Been busy, riding, hiding, working etc. Trying to figure out a race schedule, which I haven't had to do for a few years. Oh well, I'll get it back.

Rainbows...............

The Badger just contacted me. His faithful doggie, Bear passed away today. He will be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for The Badger & Miss Karen

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...

Cannibal Badgers

Back in the swing of things here. Doing some riding, stretching etc. Planning on racing this Saturday down in St. Louis. After the Hillsboro race, I felt like I got hit by a car. Oh wait, I DID get hit by a car, so maybe it felt like I got hit by a tricycle. Took a few days to re-coup from that epic ride.

OK, epic rides. D. Bratton from Team Mack puts together a ride every spring called "Darrell's Excellent Adventure" ie: "Hannibal the Cannibal" out of Hannibal, MO. This is an out & back, 70 mile ride "through the hills". I drove the sag car last year, as I was still in a cast and walking with a cane, so no riding for me. The ride is through the hills.

Did I mention there are hills? We went out with a group of about 25 of us, leaving from one of our team sponsors house, Dr. Burton of Midwest Orthopedics.

Well, I can tell you, there are hills in them thar hills. After the first 17 miles, I mentioned to the "A" group, that these were tough, and I hope that's the worst of it. The response? Smiles, and something to the effect of "Steve, you haven't seen hills yet"

Oh Boy. I think I am in trouble. Needless to say, I backed off from there. Paced myself, and did just fine. The final twist of the ride was the turn off into Lovers Leap, a 2 block, 17% grade climb, which is barely walkable, less rideable. Needless to say, I dug into my suitcase of courage, after 68 miles of hills, and did it. Whew!

Badger Update: Well, since 4/1, The Badger has been M.I.A. Oh, he says he has been on a business trip, vacationing somewhere warm, visiting relatives at The Badger Den etc. All I know
is that he has NOT "badgered" up on his bet that I am aware of. I think he's afraid to come back to Central Illinois, head hung low, defeated by The Turtle.

I spoke to him the other day on the phone, and he mentioned his whereabouts, somewhere on the east coast. I promptly called the town where he will be staying, and informed them that there will be a rabid badger visiting soon, and they need to inform the town folk. To be aware & all, just in case he goes wild or something.


Hey, I figured that if he's not going to "badger" up on his bets, I can harass him until he does!

Ok,OK, OK! I GET IT!

Got some e-mails recently about my blob, and lack of updates. They went like this: "Steve, where's the Hillsboro race update? and by the way, you smell" and "I have checked your blob 1345 times, TODAY alone, and no update, and by the way, you smell, again" and my favorite " Steve, if Anderson Cooper & Tom Cruise had a child, you would look just like him. Where's the blob update? And once again, you smell, even worse".

I get the hint! I've been busy, believe me.

I consulted with Edgar, president of my fan club and trusted advisor the morning of the race, for advice. Edgar is very smart, and knows me quite well. He should, as he is my alter ego, like Tyler Durden. (If you don't get it, watch "Fight Club")

Anyway, Edgar, in his stoic voice said the following: "Steve, quitters never win, and winners never quit" That's it? You can't do better than that? "That is all" was the response.

So, the race goes on. 100 competitors in my category, hills, hills, fast, more hills, alligators, hills, piranhas, hills etc. I have NEVER finished Hillsboro, in any category, period. I have never made it past the first significant hill with the field (8 mile marker) as well.

I tried to stay in the top 10 in the field. First hill, where I usually get dropped, made it through, painfully. Second hill? Dropped like an anvil in a Road Runner cartoon, right on the coyote's head.

Then I looked over my shoulder, as I was all alone in defeat and saw Edgar! He reminded me of what he said......"Winners never quit!" So I blasted on, for the next 6 miles, and CAUGHT back onto the field! Burned all of the matches in my book, but did it! Went the next 14 miles with the field, through town, back out of town, and got massively dropped on the same hill again.

Lights out, body slammed, matchbook burned up, dead. But I still remembered what Edgar said........and hooked up with 11 other riders who got dropped from the field as well. We proceeded to chase the field, but they were gone. Today was a training day. Did the next 37 miles with our little chase group, and finished 66 miles total, 42nd overall. I felt like a winner, and Edgar gave me a big hug afterward. Wait, that's kind of weird. Oh well.

"Keeping your word" update: I am glad I did not post this yesterday, as everyone would have thought it was an April Fool's joke, but yesterday was April 1st. You remember. The "day" of reckoning for the BIG BET between The Badger & Myself. The bet was that I would use the negative button, during the grueling indoor sessions on the computrainer, and I said I would not. If he loses, which he did by the way, he has to shave his entire body, which will be quite a chore.

Here's a picture I took of him down at Hillsboro. He has not started to shed any of his winter fur. I told him I would make the appointment for the wax job, and even pitch in for the raw material, ie: hot wax, to accomplish the feat.

He seems to have some selective memory issues, as to what we agreed to, and is using the trip the the Badger Hospital about a month ago, as his defense. Edgar interjected that any badger that defends himself, has a fool for a client. Edgar is smart when it comes to the legal stuff.

So I hired a sketch artist to do a computer generated image (CGI) of what The Badger will look like, once he "Badgers" up to his loss on the bet, and keeps his word. This is as close as we can get for now.