How Does That Work?

A friend asked me "How does that work"?


You see, I met Barry Connor about 1.5 years ago, and yes, we met "on-line". He found me through my blog, and sent me an email.


Barry had been in a horrible accident involving a ladder and two-stories of a home. He suffered similar injuries to mine, especially the left tibia/fibula, which was a severe fracture, and non-union, which means that it was not growing back together. He googled "non-union tibia" fractures or something, and found me through my blog. We have been conversing via email for about 15 months. He has gone through all of the things that I went through, pain, depression, hurt, doctors, more doctors, family, frustration with the whole situation, quality of life issues, why won't this dang leg ever heal?

We did a lot of back & forth support via email, even with a 6 hour time difference, it worked out pretty good. Due to the lack of healing in the left leg, something had to be done. He was exhausted of the pain management, and a decision was made. The doctors removed his lower left leg in June/2009.

Soon afterward, G mentioned that I should go meet/see Barry. I immediately sent him an email, and he said "Sure Mate"! I booked a plane & hotel, and headed to East Kilbride, Scotland to finally meet Barry, post surgery. 7600 miles round trip, to meet my pen-pal, who I had never even spoken to on the phone. Leap of faith? Faith in another human being, who needs your help? Crazy? Doesn't matter, he was in a time of need, and I wanted to do what I could.

I arrived on a Thursday late am. Checked into the hotel, quick cleanup and caught a taxi to Barry's. No calls, just c'mon by, so I did. We met, spent that afternoon & evening just getting to know each other. Barry's wife Sharon was there as well, and I think we were all a little uncomfortable with the "what ifs". After an hour or so, we were pretty cool. Shooting the breeze like ol' buds and cracking jokes. He thought I had a funny accent, and I thought the same of him. A couple of Guinness' into the afternoon, and we were relaxing. His children came home from school, to find a crazy American had invaded their home. Barry & Sharon have three lovely, very respectful children, which is an awesome reflection on them, as they are a really good Dad & Mum. The evening got late, I had not slept for 34 hours, and headed back to the hotel.

We met the next day, and hung out. I also attended a Rotary meeting that afternoon. That was pretty cool as well. That evening, his Uncle Pat, who drives a Lorry (semi-truck) picked me up, and Uncle Pat, Barry & myself drove through the night, delivering a load of anchors to the Irish Sea, a load up toward Inverness, another load back to the depot etc. Just two Scotsman and myself, hanging out, having fun, quoting lines from the movie "Airplane" listening to country & early rock & roll music, and being stooges. We laughed so hard sometimes, I forgot it was 3am!

Saturday afternoon came, as I got back & asleep at 6am. I met Uncle Pat and his family over at the Connor Household. Sharon made the best lasagna that side of the pond, and we had a great evening, just having fun, shooting the breeze, talking about old times (as if we had any, yet) and slightly more Guinness. We were to go tour the countryside the next day in Uncle Pat's Land Rover, and do a little off-roading.

Sunday came, we all loaded into the Land Rover, and off we went. Barry, Uncle Pat, myself and the two boys, Jack & Jack. We scoured the countryside, small towns, Glasgow, high on the hilltops, went by castles, homes that were hundreds of years old, and finally the grave of one of the most famous Scotsman, Rob Roy McGregor. He is a legend in Scotland for fighting the English. It was when we were leaving, that we met The Mad Scotsman (see pic at end). He lives in the country, and is the purest of Scotsman. It was a rare and special treat to meet this gent. We went out to dinner with the Connor family that evening, and capped off an awesome & exhausting day.

Monday, Barry, Sharon & I hung out. Barry's Mum & Dad stopped by, and believe it or not, the sun came out. Barry & I agreed that we all had a great time, and he learned that morning that he had to go back into the hospital for another procedure.

I left the following day, and it took several days to get my feet back on the ground, per se. The only thing that I would have done different, is stay longer. Barry & Sharon, along with the kids and of course Uncle Pat and family were awesome. I never met a stranger in Scotland. They are some of the kindest, proudest and hardest working people you will ever meet. You would not even need to ask for their shirt off their back, they would recognize it, and give it to you before you even asked.

So, the answer to the question, "How does that work"? It just does. You must be a positive leader & friend to those who are going through a similar situation, whether you know them or not. It is not your choice, it is your duty & responsibility. Barry now bares this responsibility, and I know he will carry this forward when he is able to do so.