One in a Million...............

When I was a child, and did some crazy stunt, and pulled it off, my Mom or teacher would say, "well, you're one in a million"
When G&I met, I believed that she told me at least once, that I was her "one in a million"
I've got some really corny jokes, that I think are hilarious, but most people don't, and I consider them "one in a million"

Well, I go to see Dr. Maxey yesterday, for what I believed was going to be my last checkup on the tibia, as it has been four months since I have seen him. The last time we met was in June, and we saw some really good growth going on. I figured this would be the final goodbye. I was even ready to give the speech about how it would be "OK" if we never met professionally again.

Start off w/ the x-rays, routine stuff etc. I get to see the x-rays before Doc does, and as I held them up to the light, it was a whole bucket full of wrong. The tibia has gotten WORSE since June. How? Why? Have NO clue, neither did Dr. Maxey. He did the best he could, but after 1 second on the light board, he immediately turned to me and said it was still non-union, and go see the specialist, Dr. J. Tracy Watson down in St. Louis. That's it! Dr. Maxey is a professional, and professionals steer you to the specialists when it is out of their expertise. Here's Dr. Watson reviewing some complex tibia fracture or something.


I get to see him on November 8th for a review, and what the next step is.

There is a silver lining in the cloud though. I got to see my favorite nurse, Nurse Barb. She must've known I was coming in, because she was looking good, and all made up for my visit. We chit-chatted about what was going on, restraining orders she has placed on me, how I have been banned from every Panera restaurant in the tri-county area, the "return to sender" mail pieces she has sent back etc.

She EVEN laughed at my "rig-of-mortise" joke I pulled on Darvis last week, although I think she laughs at me, and not with me.....

The nurse in this pic WISHES she looked 1/2 as good as Nurse Barb.

So, I asked Dr. Maxey, what the odds of the leg never healing were? Not probable, although not impossible. And, what are the odds of a tibia taking 26+ months to heal are?

About one in a million.........................

Do You See The Light?

"Yes, Yes, I See The Light!" John Belushi said that in the Blues Brothers movie, to the preacher, James Brown.

I think I have seen the light, many of times during my rehab. Unfortunately, I was in a tunnel, when I saw the light, and didn't realize it was a train heading right at me! Ouch! Start over again.

Still doing the acupuncture thing. Dr. Larry has been turning up the juice on the electrodes/needles. I had to call him on my cell phone during the last session (he was right outside the door in his office, but I didn't want to look like a baby and scream for help) as the "meridians" and all of that jazz freaked out on me! Pain was the name of the game for that afternoon. I asked Dr. Larry if this was supposed to happen, and he smiled, and said were heading in the right direction! So, I guess that's good. Pain is just weakness leaving the body, I believe.

I think Martha, Martha, Martha has been avoiding me. Making excuses like: "I had to perform emergency surgery when you had your last treatment", or "I was attending to someone in the E.R with a life threatening procedure", or, my favorite, "I was on my death bed with a highly contagious viral condition and was quarantined." C'mon, just because you have 16 IV's hanging out of you, and running a 117 degree fever means that you cannot at least come in to see me when I have a treatment?

So, I brought her a flower last week when I had my treatment. I hope it cheered her up. It was a beautiful purple flower, wrapped with a purple bow. She said that no other patient has ever brought her a flower before.


I hope that Nurse Barb doesn't get jealous, and possibly have a broken heart now. She knows deep down, that she will always be my Favorite Nurse, period.

Heck, when I get all mended up, I may become an orthopedic hypocondriac just so I can see her.

OK, Fine, Call Me a Comeback, But I've Been Here For Years

Been a busy little boy lately. Work has done the seasonal busy, slow, busy slow etc. I have finally made the decision I should have made a while back (1 year ago?), but did not. I am going to shelve the bike & gym for a while, until I get re-couped. In the interim, I have filled those voids with physical therapy, acupuncture treatments, yoga and time in the pool, doing more PT on my own, and some swimming.

The picture above is one of the many things that I cannot do right now, but PT has been great. I went for some land PT yesterday afternoon with Darvis, and we have seen HUGE improvements in the past 3 weeks. Huge is like 5%, but that's great!

I have got to end this "on again, off again" relationship I have been having with my left leg and move forward.

Haven't seen Martha, Martha, Martha in a while, and I believe she is avoiding me. Went through Nurse Barb withdrawls last week, so I called the local Panera in Peoria, where she spends her working hours, and we had a nice chat. For some reason, the patient rooms have had a full stock of reflex hammers and latex gloves now that I haven't been there for a while. I am going back in a couple of weeks, for what I believe is the almost final exam by The Man himself, Dr. Maxey. I suspect were going to see almost 90% + healing in the left tibia.

Yesterday, Darvis stated that my mortise joint in my ankle was screwed up, and is most likely the major cause of all the pain, blah, blah, blah. We discussed this little bugger, what to do etc.

I then thought about it for a minute, and asked: " Darvis, let's say that I had a whole semi-load of mortise. Would that mean that I had rig-of-mortise?" Get it? Rig-of-mortise?????

I thought it was hilarious, and laughed myself silly. He did not.

Don't Call Me a Comeback, I've Been Here For Years

Here's the scoop. I have had two acupuncture treatments with Dr. Larry, and three PT sessions, one of which was in the pool with my PT, Michelle. She was actually in the water with me though, doing the exercises & such.

So, I report to PT today, believing it was another aqua-therapy day, (which is why I had my trunks, fins & snorkel) and announce to Denese, the receptionist that "Aquaman is here, reporting for duty Ma'am!!!". Denese destroys my afternoon whe she says that I am a land-lover today for therapy, and no pool. I did the land PT with Joanna, and all was well. I have to say, that so far, the people at Hopedale Hospital are extremely efficient and professional. The facility that they have there is awesome as well!

Several things: About 1.5 days after my second acupuncture treatment, I noticed that I was actually walking, using my heel to land on versus dragging or flopping my foot on the floor. That's a good sign. Then I noticed that I am actually bending my left knee just slightly when I walk as well, another good sign! PT Joanna actually noticed that when I walked in today, that I was landing on my heel. She memorized my file before our appointment, and made a note of the floppy foot syndrome that I have.

Hopes up? You bet.

I have some more acupuncture scheduled next week with Dr. Larry. Martha, Martha, Martha, Dr. Larrys nurse will give me the same routine: On the scale (to see how fat I am), are you allergic to anything, sign here, initial here, blood pressure check ( going up), how do I feel etc.

I can say that in the past 2-3 days, I feel about 5% better. I know that there is no rest for the wicked, but possibly some relief for a guy who is just a little weird?