Help!!! I'm Stuck!!!

OK, not really. I met Martha, Martha, Martha, Dr. Larry's nurse (referred to from here on out as Martha x3) on Monday to do the whole pre-visit thing, ie: Paper-work, stand on the scale and see how fat I am, all of the questions, blood pressure etc. Heck, I should just haul around my own file, and hand it to them when I get there for the first time!

G, knowing what a "difficult" patient I have become in the past two years, decides to bake some chocolate-chip cookies for Martha x 3, and "butter" Dr. Larry & Martha x3 up. (Get it? Butter them up?)

Dr. Larry does the whole make-up. Walk, feel this, push that, walk here, now here, almost fall over etc. He decides, to my agreement, that is is NOT 100% nerve damage, and it must be something mechanical, even though it does not show up on an x-ray or bone scan. Something is pinching, forcing, moving etc. causing the pain in the ankle region. He gives me the news I already new, but hate to hear. He states that we can try to reduce the pain from a 6-7 out of 10 scale, to a 2-3 out of 10, but don't get your hopes up for a 0/10. He lays out the options 1. Crutches in conjunction with nerve drugs 2. Crutches in conjunction with acupuncture or 3. Either nerve drugs or acupuncture alone, as I already RULED out crutches. I asked what he would do, if I was his son? He recommends the nerve drugs. I thought about it for a second, and the only drug I have found that works, pain wise that is is morphine. All others have failed me, Oxy-contin, tramadol, vicadin etc. All they do is make me more weird than I already am, and the world cannot handle a "more weird" me!

So, I opt for the acupuncture. OK, when can I get in? Let's get this party started! I have a finite number of days, months, years on this earth, and the sooner the better. Wednesday afternoon, and Martha x3 will get me taken care of! Cool, but here's what's running through my mind:

Not good. Martha x3 takes GREAT care of me, and sets the whole thing up. I went in this afternoon, and had it done. Really, you can't feel a thing, until they hook the electrodes to the needles, and then just a pulsing sensation. Here's the artist rendition of my treatment today:

See how happy I am?? I have to go back on Monday for the next, more serious session. We decided to give it 5-6 sessions, and if this doesn't work, switch to the nerve drugs to see if that works.

If none of this works, I'm off to Tijuana to find some medical school dropout selling voodoo potions out of the back of his Volkswagen Van.