Help!!! I'm Stuck!!!

OK, not really. I met Martha, Martha, Martha, Dr. Larry's nurse (referred to from here on out as Martha x3) on Monday to do the whole pre-visit thing, ie: Paper-work, stand on the scale and see how fat I am, all of the questions, blood pressure etc. Heck, I should just haul around my own file, and hand it to them when I get there for the first time!

G, knowing what a "difficult" patient I have become in the past two years, decides to bake some chocolate-chip cookies for Martha x 3, and "butter" Dr. Larry & Martha x3 up. (Get it? Butter them up?)

Dr. Larry does the whole make-up. Walk, feel this, push that, walk here, now here, almost fall over etc. He decides, to my agreement, that is is NOT 100% nerve damage, and it must be something mechanical, even though it does not show up on an x-ray or bone scan. Something is pinching, forcing, moving etc. causing the pain in the ankle region. He gives me the news I already new, but hate to hear. He states that we can try to reduce the pain from a 6-7 out of 10 scale, to a 2-3 out of 10, but don't get your hopes up for a 0/10. He lays out the options 1. Crutches in conjunction with nerve drugs 2. Crutches in conjunction with acupuncture or 3. Either nerve drugs or acupuncture alone, as I already RULED out crutches. I asked what he would do, if I was his son? He recommends the nerve drugs. I thought about it for a second, and the only drug I have found that works, pain wise that is is morphine. All others have failed me, Oxy-contin, tramadol, vicadin etc. All they do is make me more weird than I already am, and the world cannot handle a "more weird" me!

So, I opt for the acupuncture. OK, when can I get in? Let's get this party started! I have a finite number of days, months, years on this earth, and the sooner the better. Wednesday afternoon, and Martha x3 will get me taken care of! Cool, but here's what's running through my mind:

Not good. Martha x3 takes GREAT care of me, and sets the whole thing up. I went in this afternoon, and had it done. Really, you can't feel a thing, until they hook the electrodes to the needles, and then just a pulsing sensation. Here's the artist rendition of my treatment today:

See how happy I am?? I have to go back on Monday for the next, more serious session. We decided to give it 5-6 sessions, and if this doesn't work, switch to the nerve drugs to see if that works.

If none of this works, I'm off to Tijuana to find some medical school dropout selling voodoo potions out of the back of his Volkswagen Van.

Starting Off on the Right Foot

Laying-Low, is that an excuse? I have been fighting this non-mysterious pain in the left leg since about day one. We always attributed it to the fractured tibia, but no more. I called my favorite nurse, Nurse Barb a couple of weeks ago, and said something must be done, cortisone shots, something, anything! She in turn, consults w/ The Man himself, Dr. Maxey, and orders me a bone scan. Huh? Well, I believe he knows a little more than I when it comes to this kind of stuff, so about 1.5 weeks ago, I have the elaborate test done. Results? Nothing! Absolutely Nothing (new that is). Crap!

What to do now? I am at my ropes end, and the knot I tied to hang on is getting pretty thin. Dr. Maxey refers me to Dr. Below in his practice. Dr. Below (really nice guy) is an ankle specialist & surgeon in the ortho part of the medical business. So, I go to see him, and we do all of the routine things, x-rays, bend over, touch your toes, the rubber reflex hammer, say ahhhhh etc. Thirty minutes later he has a diagnosis! Nerve damage to both nerves in the left leg. I knew the tibial nerve was severed and reattached, then dead, then woken up again about a year later, but the opposite nerve (perennial) was damaged as well. Which explains why I cannot move certain toes on my foot and all of that jazz.

OK, now what? He recommends an anesthesiologist who specializes in pain, to relieve the pain in the nerve/leg, until it subsides or whatever. Nothing life-long, but may be a little while.

So, off I go, into the wild blue yonder. Off to see my 6th doctor (total) now this Monday afternoon. I called Dr. Larry, and we played phone tag. His nurse, Martha, Martha, Martha (Brady Bunch) set an appt. for me in OCTOBER! Well, that's not going to work. I went through some different channels, pulled some strings and Dr. Larry called me direct. I explained the situation with my foot, ankle, past history etc. and he said he would get me in "immediately". (That's within a week in doctor lingo.)

Well, Martha, Martha, Martha called me back, and I guess that is NOT the way to start off on the right foot with doctors and their practice. To bypass the nurse, and schedule directly with the doctor is a no-no I guess.
Oh well, what was I going to do? I chatted with Martha, Martha, Martha, told her the situation etc. She was pretty cool with the entire scenario. I told her about my Favorite Nurse, Nurse Barb and Martha, Martha, Martha let it slip that SHE may be my favorite nurse from here on out. I doubt it. Nurse Barb & I have a LONG history together, involving, staples, stitches, bandages, and once & a while, if were all alone in the patient room, rubber gloves & reflex hammers.