All Things Must Come to an End

G&I went to see Dr. Watson this am. It's been four months since the last visit, and I have been feeling good. Been riding about 120 miles per week, doing our indoor & outdoor workouts with the VQ Cycling/Coaching Group etc. I haven't used the cane per se in almost 5 months, and look pretty darn good if I say so myself, kind of like a handsome Anderson Cooper.

Start off w/ X-Rays. The tech's down at SLU love me to death. Or love to see me go when I am done, I can't tell either way, but at least they're nice to me. I always read my own x-rays while they are showing up on the computer monitor, and critique them before Dr. Watson gets a hold of them.

Dr. Watson's assistant, Mia comes in to ask me all of the regular questions, and I always guess my blood pressure beforehand, and see how close I can get. 138/88 today. Little high, but I have the white coat syndrome when I walk in the door, I believe. She's a hoot, and I will miss her when this is all over.

Dr. Watson comes in for the consult, and the x-rays look about where they were in July. OUCH! Actually, they look a whole lot better in the rear & side, with exception of a spot on the front/outside of the tibia, which has a section of "dead" bone. We discuss this matter, and agree that the bone is about 70-75% remodeled as they say, and that is about as good as it will get. Surgery? No. The risk of surgery does not equal the potential outcome. The section of bone is dead, and not touching the other broken section. Blood flow between them is limited or non-existent, and to do a surgery would require opening the leg up, hacking out the section of dead bone, doing a HUGE bone graft, with a 50/50 chance of success, if that.

The gray or black area at the front of the tibia is the dead spot. The fibula still has a chunk missing, and probably will never grow back together, just float there in the leg, broken.

That's it? I ask? Yes was the answer. But what about the x-rays, they look bad! Dr. Watson says that he doesn't treat x-rays, he treats patients. I can live with that. He's right. I have so much more quality of life than what I had even months ago. I can walk up & down stairs. I have little pain on a daily basis, nothing to cry about that is. The bone will probably always be "broken", but I have more to be thankful for. I have two legs, which believe it or not, is a miracle in itself. If Dr. Maxey didn't have the professional expertise to stabilize me, perform 3 surgeries, refer me to Dr. Watson for the dual bone grafts, and Dr. Watson wasn't the professional that he is, I would be missing a left leg right now. I can cycle, swim, walk etc.

I plan on racing in 2008, ripping some legs off and snapping wrists, like Steven Segal does in his "B" grade movies.

I need to have a real understanding that 70-75% is really 100%, and that is a good thing. It may take me a day, a week or whatever, but I will do it.

I almost feel like I have lost an old friend. A really bad friend, who you love to hate. You talk about them behind their back in the worst way, but when you need him to walk across the room, get in & out of the car, rake leaves, ride for 50 or 60 miles and then wind up a huge sprint at the end, you're nice to him again. Only to curse him out when you see the doctor, and he behaves badly on x-rays. That's life, and you live with it.

Every book, good or bad has an ending at some point, and I think I am at the final chapter, with maybe a couple of pages to go.

It's kind of sad in some ways. I believe this blip on the radar of my life has made me a better person, husband & friend. I could have NEVER done this without G, as always, she is a rock. We have tested limits that some marriages would not endure, I suspect. My friends have stuck with me like glue, super glue that is, especially my cycling buddies, who always believed in and encouraged me on a daily basis, enjoying my milestones as much as I did.

Between G & my friends, they never let me feel sorry for myself, and pushed me to the limit every day during recovery for the past 3 1/2 years, and still do. Not an inch of slack getting let out.

Dr. Watson said to "Come back & see me in 6 months" I told him that we are going to do lunch when I return, shoot the hay, and probably say our final goodbyes at that time, and I believe we are all OK with that.

These just in from Dr. Watson from yesterdays appointment: